singleness — Faves of Dave - Bible Study

1Cor. 7:6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. 7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.

1Cor. 7:8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

1Cor. 7:10 To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband 11 (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.

1Cor. 7:12 To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. 16 For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

The beginning of this section is a continuation of the topic of human sexuality, singleness, and marriage. Paul says, “I wish that all were as I myself am.” (v. 7) What does that mean? He explains in verse 8 this refers to his status as a single person. Note: This is not a command from the Lord. This is Paul’s opinion. When God created the world and human beings, he blessed them and told them to multiply (see Gen. 1:28). If everyone were single and celibate, there wouldn’t be any multiplying going on. Why does Paul say this, then? He explains later that a single person can be dedicated to the service of the Lord. We’ll get that later. He then concedes that marriage is good too. (v. 9)

Paul moves on to a topic that is frequently debated to this day; the question of divorce of believers. The reason it’s debated is that people often pick which Scripture passages, speaking about marriage and divorce, they most prefer to defend their view of this issue. I will not enter into a lengthy discussion of various texts relevant to that debate. However, one example is when the Jews, who returned to Israel after their exile in Babylon, “put away” their foreign wives. It was not condemned. In fact, it was encouraged. Why? Like Solomon, the issue wasn’t that their wives were of different nationalities, ethnicity, or race. It was because they worshipped foreign gods, and it led the Jews away from their God. It was why they had been disciplined by God in the first place and were sent as captives in Babylon and later Persia. So, what these Jews were doing was in keeping with their desire to be faithful to God over a relationship with their spouse. It’s one of those situations that demonstrate how sin messes up our lives. Sometimes none of the options available to us in the wake of our sin are ideal. (See Ezra 10:10-11)

Interestingly, Paul contradicts that measure in this first letter to the Corinthians. The counsel is that a believing spouse should not leave their unbelieving spouse. There are a few things to note about this specific situation of a believing and an unbelieving couple. Notice the specific situation calls for the unbelieving spouse to be content to stay in the relationship. The next thing (at the heart of much debate) is Paul saying the unbelieving spouse who is content to remain in the marriage is “holy.” Wow! What does that mean? That’s a tough question, and I can’t be certain. However, I don’t believe it means the unbelieving spouse is “saved” (meaning right with God and guaranteed eternal life). Otherwise, why would Paul feel the need to write about this, speaking of an “unbelieving” husband or wife? Furthermore, Paul asks the question in verse 16 to the believing husband or wife, “How do you know whether you will save your (spouse)?”

That question in verse 16 leads us to an answer I think is more likely. The unbelieving spouse is considered “holy” by virtue of being content to remain with the believer. By virtue of that willingness, they participate in the blessing of God upon that home. They receive blessings from God because of their willingness to not be so offended by their spouse’s faith that they walk away from it. Perhaps they even value or admire their spouse’s faith. Paul’s question then in verse 16 is to suggest that through that extension of blessing, the unbelieving spouse may ultimately come to faith and be saved.

Children of this believer/unbeliever relationship also receive this extension of God’s grace and blessing to them because of the faith lived out by the believing parent, and they have an advantage that ideally would lead them to faith as they grow and make decisions for themselves. A perfect example of this is found in the story of Jacob and Esau with their father Isaac. Neither son appeared to appropriate their father’s faith even into their teens or early adult years. Esau did not value the birthright that was his by virtue of being born first of twins. Jacob, when pulling off the charade to steal the blessing of his father, said that he had gotten the requested game (meat) so quickly because “The LORD your God gave it to me.” (Gen. 27:20) It is later that God reveals himself to Jacob in a vision, and Jacob is moved a step closer to affirming his faith in the LORD. (See Gen. 28:10-22) God extends grace to Jacob, and Jacob comes to faith in the LORD.

There is so much here, and perhaps more questions have been raised than answered. But I believe a principle underlying all of Paul’s advice here is the significant way that God can use us in whatever situation we are currently in. Whether single or married, we shouldn’t think that we need to change it to please or serve the LORD. We should seek to honor the LORD in the situation we are in right now and trust him to extend his blessings through us.

Prayer: Father in heaven, let me be used to extend your blessings to others around me, and may it lead them to faith in you.